Saturday, May 4, 2019

Love for a brother loss

What is on MY mind? The famous quote:
“In peace, children inter their parents; war violates the order of nature and causes parents to inter their children.” Herodotus, (484 BC - 430 BC) in the book, ‘The Histories of Herodotus’
I ask; "Why is it that those who have never experienced war -the so-called "armchair generals", are ALWAYS the most vocal with bovine excrement?

It is nearly 3AM on a Friday Shabbes night.

I am scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. I would play one of my computer games -because I am so sick and tired of the "news" but my eyes hurt.
When I try to close my eyes, my mind is racing...my personal version of "Netflix"

I do not want to go to sleep now because with the darkness sometimes the memories and "dreams" come.
I await exhaustion.

I turn off the computer. The blinds of the windows are shut in my room. 

I live in darkness. 

The stillness and total silence surrounds me. In my mind I hear the opening lyrics of the 1964 hit song by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel- 
"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence"
I sit motionless in my chair too tired to get up, all alone.

I am Kafka's Gregor Samsa ....

Silence surrounds me, but my ears have "that" high pitched ringing sound.
I try to close it out ...but the movie begins... the sounds, the smells the odors, the dampness of the blood is there and their agonized faces lurk there. Welcome to PTSD.
I am a survivor.
I am a combat veteran.
I can tell you from actual combat experience do not believe the "stolen glory" stories.
For war is truly hell.

For years many Israeli's like me who served mandatory service in the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) and for years in reserves. You would once a year put on your uniform and leave your job and wife abd children and go to serve in the IDF where needed.

I do not know of anyone who sought "glory". We went because it is our duty and in some ways it was a yearly "vacation" with comrades that you had served with and gotten to be like brothers to over the years.
We had to "don" our uniforms simply because our "neighbors" refuse to accept us. 
I always remembered the motto of the LAPD from the TV Series "Dragnet"; "To Protect and to Serve"

For "US" in Israel we served sometimes in sight of home or "home" was just over the ridge. As Golda Meir so rightly stated:
"We Jews have a secret weapon in our struggle with the Arabs; we have no place to go." 
When I was in Lebanon fighting the Palestinians, in all the "alphabet" versions.
I fought alongside the Lebanese-Moslem and Christian, who also did not want them. (and still don't today!)

In one of my first "REAL" experiences near Tebnine in 1978 the soldiers of Major Saad Hadad were there fighting alongside us, "Phanlagout" -as the Maronite Christian force were called and even "Shi'ite Amal".

As a combat medic I treated one and all. One pertinent thing about real war is that you never forget the smell /stench of death.

The instant of the IED blast being thrown in the air hitting the ground the ringing and pain in the ears. You lie there.
A voice inside you cries out, "MOVE!" "Get up!"
The other voice in the back of your mind says stay. Your head is heavy, your body aches slowly your eyes focus and make contact. You see the scene destruction, fire and bodies....I now try to forget ...

In a few more days we in Israel will have our Memorial Day in memory of ALL those who made the "ultimate sacrifice". I can tell you that none of them wanted to die. It is the faces of surprise of a sudden death of those you run to and force yourself to bypass to assist the living that stand out most...As the one who holds them and frantically attempts to deal with their wounds to staunch the life's blood,  as you vainly try to save them and the crackle of bullets wiz by like some angry hornets the "whoosh" of the RPG ....your mind races you try to think did I place the tourniquet tight enough.... I don't have the time nor the tools to find the torn vein or artery, to stem the blood flow. I do what I can and move to the next...the cries for momma, the wife, the cursing.

Each year as I stand in the cemetery next to his grave on Memorial Day. Next to my "little brother" David Sklar z"l... I close my eyes as the siren sounds, I see him in as if in an old home 8mm movie of old ... we -the old Anglo-Saxon Immigrant gang are playing softball and having fun. I smile as I see him.

My love for him brings sadness and tears for I will never forget him.

He was "just 19". Skinny with bad eyes -weak too. David had worked hard to get into the Armor corps his commander told me that he saw David's heart was there but he regretfully was not Armor Corp material and he was having him transferred to a desk office job but the "First War" in Lebanon had begun and his transfer had to wait.

I can remember David sitting on our couch in our new apartment home on leave in May of 1982 so proud in his new uniform bouncing our son David on his knee. As he sat there with that gangly look and smile, I had counselled David and told him in time of war and in a conflict zone "Don't take chances!" wear your armor body vest and helmet.

It was a hot July morning in Southern Beirut. There was a lull in the fighting. His tank was parked to guard a road block. He eagerly volunteered to be in "communication" -to listen to the radio chatter and he sat outside of the hot tank on the front near his driver seat. The Palestinian Alphabets had rained down mortar fire all day and all night. Evidently, they had to resupply and had quit firing for several hours so the soldiers began to relax.
It was hot and very humid the soldiers became too lax they opened or removed their old heavy Viet Nam War vintage surplus -read US AID - body Armor vests.... they heard the thump David wearing the VRC helmet of the communications didn't. The long piece of shrapnel from the 122 Soviet made mortar round pierced his body as he unsuspectingly sat there.
His fellow crew members rushed him across the crossroads to the IDF medic unit casualty station the doctor saw the long shard it had seared and cauterized in David's chest. He called for evac to Rambam in Haifa the special medic evac arrived.
David lingered on for another 24 hours or so...his mother and sister were able to see him before he died....

We who live in Israel do so under the constant threat of death. We hear our enemies call for our blood daily. 
We do not linger on it we try to live "normal" lives. We have wives, children and grandchildren.

JUST a couple of days ago we remembered WHY "WE" need "OUR" small sliver of "God's green earth"...  the Six Million.

We see how that ancient jealousy and hate emanates and resounds throughout the world.
We see how it gained recognition in the US House of Representatives.
Aryan White Racists and Moslem extremists have one thing in common Jew hate.

Shimon bar Koseiba once showed us to survive we must be tougher and stronger than the Romans.
So were our Partisans, so were our Palmach, so were our ETZEL and Haganah.

In contrast and in our morality, "We" do not glorify death, we do not celebrate with our enemy's blood, we do NOT relish death, we do not hand out candy and sweets in the streets.

Our enemy is like Amalek of old and we could have like our detractors claimed used the same genocidal methods against them but we have been taught different morals that ALL lives are Gods and Gods alone to give and take. Our motto as Israeli combat medics is, "to save lives." Sometimes this duty is too extreme but this is the difference between us and has always been.

So, we are regretfully forced to be...warriors on the defense to protect our homes and our families. We Israelis love life and we want and desire just one thing to live in peace in our land as a free people like all others ...this is what our leaders say:
"We will not rest until we reach a permanent agreement [with the Palestinians] that would secure a safe future for our children and that would provide us with renewed hope to live in a region where people lead a life of co-operation and not, God forbid, where blood is shed." — Yitzhak Rabin

"We shall live at last as free men on our own soil, and in our own homes peacefully die. The world will be liberated by our freedom, enriched by our wealth, magnified by our greatness. And whatever we attempt there for our own benefit will redound mightily and beneficially to the good of all mankind.”— Theodor Herzl, father of modern Zionism, from his book Der Judenstaat, (The Jewish State), published in 1896
I will ALWAYS remember....
 
   

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